August Firewalk
I led another firewalk last night, August 20. Despite life being painful right now — some personal loss I prefer not to go into on the blog — I rose to the occasion and a larger crowd than last month was really served by the experience. Unlike other walks, many people in this group wanted to walk silently. And once they got started, they did not want to stop! I used music for the first time, gave out “firewalker” pins, and talked a bit more about the link between firewalk and integrity. The dominant words in the testimonials were “exhileration” and “serenity.”
Here is a sampling:
“There was initial anxiety and trepidation…By the time I faced the fire, I found myself in the center of calm & a feeling of serenity. It is that feeling that I will hold onto for the rest of my life. Thanks, Tony!”
– Preston C., Educator, 53
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“A very liberating experience like breaking through a barrier. A feeling of calmness pervades my body & mind. I highly recommend it.”
– Paul Strebel, Financial Advisor, Instructor, Consultant, 52
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“The fear was more effort than performing the firewalk and other enlivening tasks of this incredible evening.”
– Daniel Keough, Public Health Advocate
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“Freeing…lightening…essence of what all of us need in life: a dram of courage, a dose of ‘yes I can.’”
– Eric Machan Howd, Educator, 42
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“..it is empowering. I really felt like I was in the moment and in myself.”
–Lindsay Myron, Student, 21
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“Tonight’s experience was absolutely liberating!…Any words to describe [it] would somehow take from the experiece.”
–Jason Wilson, daddy, 36
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“It is about commitment. You can do anything if you step into it.”
–Naari S., Student, 21
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“Very exhilerating!”
–Douglass Bennett, Landscaper, 39
What a joy it is to be able to give that experience to people! I look forward to running multi-day events, with a firewalk at the beginning. What a wonderful space gets cleared. I look forward to filling that space with integrity.
Quest for Candor
Sam Culbert wrote a wonderful, short book called “Beyond Bullsh*t: Straight-talk at Work.” The book contrasts straight talk that is anchored in honest disclosure from bullsh*t, which is anchored in maneuvering for a desired effect on the listener. It is the difference between talking simply and talking like a lawyer. While it may be true that many of the ills in our organizations and our politics are due to too much lawyer-speak (aka “bullsh*t”) there is a sad inevitability to some level of it in many of our interactions. I loved the book and recommend it heartily to anyone who has wondered why more people do not simply tell the truth about who they are and what they are doing. Following is an excerpt from Culbert’s book (taken with his permission), along with some questions for discussion:
-What situations demand bullsh*t?
-How and when can we create safe, candid relationships?
-What, exactly, is the relaionship between bullsh*t and behavioral integrity?
Straight-talk at work! There isn’t much we crave more yet get less of. We want others to say candidly what they think, be forthcoming about what they have done and be upfront about what they are planning. We want honest reactions to what we propose; we want to believe our views are receiving serious consideration; we want to know when others are no longer listening with open minds; we want to hear the real reason someone resists doing what we have asked — we want to know where we stand. Instead, what we mostly get is bullsh*t. In spoken words; in actions taken. Worst of all, the bullsh*t sometimes comes so disguised we don’t even recognize it as such.
There are, though, special moments when others tell it to us straight — even when their views differ from ours. They refrain from euphemism, don’t spin their words, forthrightly relate all relevant facts, share their feelings and may even go so far as to reveal what they personally have at stake. In other words, there are times — albeit rare ones — when others tell us the naked truth as they know it. We love it when others don’t obscure what they mean, mislead us or lull us into thinking their agendas include our interests unless they actually do. We treasure these moments.
Decades of research and consulting with professionals and managers have convinced me that straight-talk at work is possible. But it requires more than luck and willing people. Straight-talk is the product of thoughtful caring relationships built upon trust by people committed to looking out for one another’s success. It entails much more than let-the-chips-fall-where-they-may candor and blunt start-to-finish honesty. And, it’s not brought about by cat-and-mouse, testing-the-waters conversation that evolves into a tell-it-straight, see if you can get the other person to reciprocate discussion. Straight-talk is a caring, other-sensitive, candor-on-demand, loyalty-producing, intimacy-escalating, give-and-take relationship leading to enhanced personal and organizational productivity.
Compounding the difficulties of getting straight-talk at work is the ever-present need to pretend that “straight-talk” is already taking place. We know it isn’t but the rules of the corporate-speak force us to behave as if it were ubiquitous. Everyone needs others to think they’re telling “it” perfectly straight. No one ever begins a conversation by saying, “Listen carefully while I bullsh*t you.” People strike a sincere pose, look you squarely in the eyes and then deliver a stream of self-serving verbiage designed to get your support for their agendas. It’s business as usual.
Usually what we’re getting is so obvious there’s little need to allege deception. It’s corporately correct advocacy carefully composed to appear logical, rational and objective. Our role is to look friendly, nod appropriately and, when possible, feign sufficient agreement to get away asking the questions that allow us to decide the impact their proposal will have on us. If we conclude what’s advocated is not sufficiently self-advantageous, we push back, citing the proposal’s failure to serve the organization, never its failure to benefit us. In other words, we block other people’s bullsh*t with some of our own.
Everyone knows that succeeding at work requires us to spin what we say, withhold some of what we know and pretend to believe things that we know to be untrue. At work we’re constantly challenged to trust what others tell us. But at the end of the day, we know that all communications are designed, first and foremost, to advance the self-interested agendas of the communicators. That may sound cynical, but it is also true. Like every other aspect of life, the world at work is driven by self-interests. Straight-talk begins by facing up to the fact that ours is a self-interested world.
No question about it. Getting straight-talk at work is often an arduous task, requiring skill, sensitivity and judgment. When a person wanting straight-talk doesn’t see us reciprocating, even when our intention is to tell it straight, we can count on the conversation going south. We all know the drill and inevitable outcome. Bullsh*t perceived leads to bullsh*t dispensed.
On the other hand, straight-talk met with straight-talk has the potential to create invaluable bonds, even when our viewpoint doesn’t prevail. How can we win when we lose? Because straight-talk reveals the other person’s self-interests, and such a revelation can produce understanding and respect, no matter whose position prevails. Sensing our respect, others become friendlier and more accommodating, eager to “purchase” additional good will and support. It’s a fact that being known as a straight-talker is a form of interpersonal currency today.
Taken from an organizational perspective, there’s no greater contribution to operational effectiveness and success than conversations in which people with conflicting viewpoints discuss their differences forthrightly. In fact, decades of researching how managers function have convinced me that straight-talk leading to trusting relationships is the quintessential management tool. With straight-talk, mistakes in planning and action can be quickly rectified, and people — even those with marked limitations — are able to lead more effectively. With straight-talk, missteps can be studied and corrected without blame being laid or inadequacy implied, saving all the energy typically squandered on those pointless activities.
Without straight-talk even the best-laid plans and most expertly executed actions often fail to have the desired effects. Instead, groups splinter and individuals become jurisdictional, image-conscious, self-protective and competitive with their teammates, hide their mistakes, fail to self-correct, persist in dissembling — the list is endless. From the organization’s standpoint, straight-talk and the trusting relationships it creates is an invaluable asset that ought to be listed on the year-end financial statement under “Corporate Assets and Accumulated Good Will.”
But too often, bullsh*t is the elephant in the room that blocks people from talking straight. And it’s an elephant rarely dealt with until its presence becomes too blatant to ignore. At that point, someone may finally sneeze out “bullsh*t.” However, sneezing out “bullsh*t” is seldom enough to nullify its negative impacts. Much more is required to deal with it effectively, beginning with distinguishing it from truth-telling, from candor and from straight-talk.
Until you can recognize the bullsh*t in the “truths” people tell you and understand why they resort to it, often unconsciously, you’re ill-prepared to decide whether straight-talk is even possible. Thus the first step in getting more straight-talk is better understanding of what bullsh*t is and why even the best-intentioned people use it as an ever-ready, essential personal tool. You need to know what its use accomplishes. Bullsh*t persists in organizational life because it works, and we can’t get beyond it until we understand why it’s so often necessary.
……
Finally, a word of warning. Like it or not, you’re going to have to make peace with an unpleasant fact. The vast majority of work-life interactions require that you not call people on their bullsh*t. Why? Because… bullsh*t often serves important workplace functions. The open-ended question you’re going to have to ask is “When is it possible to move beyond bullsh*t?” to reap the many benefits straight-talk can offer.
Now, for the questions again. What do YOU think?
With luck, we might even see a response from Sam himself!
-What situations demand bullsh*t?
-How and when can we create safe, candid relationships?
-What, exactly, is the relaionship between bullsh*t and behavioral integrity?
I just captured the URL TonySimons.com!
Some Australian with my name was sitting on it for a while, but did not use it. I think he was a dentist or something. I recently encountered a Tony Simons who is a school superintendant in North Dakota. He contacted me after someone bought him my book as a goof. He said he loved the book.
How to help your leaders be credible in incredible times
What communication professionals need to consider when helping leaders steer their organizations out of troubled waters.
by Tony Simons, president of Integrity Dividend LLC and Liz Guthridge, founder of Connect Consulting Group
In tough times, leaders need to keep their people motivated while laying off some and cutting resources for the rest. Leaders grapple with that combined challenge – some knowingly and some not, some successfully and some not. The challenge illustrates a double bind for leader credibility that now exists.
If employees view their leaders as credible, these employees will more often rise to the occasion. But if they don’t believe their leaders or trust them, employees tend to merely go through the motions or even resign on the job.
Even when workers perform, are they fully engaged? Are they putting their heart into what they do? Bringing all their personal resources to the job at hand? Adding the discretionary effort that the engagement experts talk about?
Over the past year, leaders have lost many of the motivational levers they’ve counted on – rewards that reinforced their words of recognition and acknowledgement. Many organizations have suspended pay increases, spot bonuses, promotions, monetary recognition, and training and development budgets. At some organizations, pay cuts are the new norm, as is the refrain – either spoken or unspoken – “You should feel lucky to have a job.”
Over the past year, leaders have lost many of the motivational levers they’ve counted on.
The trouble with words and promises
Leaders who want to provide reassurance to employees can find themselves forced into taking actions they’d previously sworn never to do. Or, they may make commitments to programs or particular actions, but later find themselves constrained or countermanded by people superior to them in the organization.
Leaders at all levels are in a tough spot. About the only lever left is their ability to demonstrate behavioral integrity – to build a reputation for impeccable follow-through and straight talk. Leaders need to speak candidly and live up to their words. They then can gain trust and commitment from their employees.
Like trust, credibility is slow to build and quick to fall. People remember the promises they consider to be broken. The promises kept only register when they’re unexpected.
Who’s Credible?
Credible people are individuals whom others perceive to be:
Competent – they’re knowledgeable and understand how things work. They don’t necessarily need to be the most technically minded, but they need to exhibit some subject-matter expertise.
Composed – they keep their cool when faced with challenges.
Honorable – they have integrity. They’re honest and they stand by their word.
Likeable – they’re pleasant. You enjoy being around them. You may not necessarily want them for your best friend, but you wouldn’t mind having a meal or drink with them.
Action oriented – they do things. They don’t get stuck in an analysis/paralysis mode.
In other words, leaders are credible if others recognize that they combine technical expertise – the competence piece – with strong relationships. But perhaps more important than that: they do what they say they’ll do. They live by their word. They demonstrate the same values they talk.
Living by your word
The current economic climate creates a messy and confusing time for everybody. And leaders often, even with the best of intentions, fail to sustain their credibility through it.
One company reduced benefits plus the base pay of all employees by between 10-15% as a way to conserve cash. In announcing the pay and benefits cuts, the president said he was setting the example by taking a 20% reduction in base pay.
But insiders know that the president makes the vast majority of his total compensation from stock options and bonuses, which aren’t changing and are still on schedule to pay handsomely. Industry watchdogs noted the president’s eight-figure compensation will decrease by less than 1% this year.
This little language game is not illegal or even, strictly speaking, dishonest – but this president is gambling with his credibility. How much resonance will his voice carry when next he asks his people to step up in response to hard times?
Acting credibly
So what can you do as a communication professional supporting leaders to show others that they’re credible? Consider these seven actions:
- Go for depth, not breadth. Concentrate on the three to five values, challenges or goals that will drive the business. As the process experts say, “Focus on the vital few, not the trivial many.” Talk regularly about those key issues, not those in the periphery. Too many espoused values lead to accusations of hypocrisy. Focus lets you really drive home the key messages, and lets employees know what leaders want from them. As Tony suggests in his book, The Integrity Dividend, “promise less and do it more often.”
- Be personal. Get out and about; don’t let leaders isolate and insulate themselves. Employees want to see and hear leaders, not read their words. The verbal and vocal cues are critical for interpreting the nuances of the messages. The full communication also humanizes leaders, which helps build relationships that support credibility. If you’re concerned about travel budgets and the time travel requires these days, at least do video conferencing and record short videos and podcasts.
- Be mindful about your communication. Consider your intent first. Then determine the most suitable approach (see the section Being clear about the aim of the communication – the 9 “I”s below). Be sure your communication is content-rich rather than content-free. Empty reassurances don’t add anything. If you don’t have much new content because of all the uncertainties, at least be clear about the ambiguity that exists. Also, use the time as an opportunity to do more listening than talking. Some executives effectively compensate for what they’re constrained from sharing by disclosing their personal feelings. And always make sure leaders are walking the talk, as people will believe actions over words.
- Be deliberate about making promises, and be willing to say “no”. Don’t make promises outside of a leader’s control that they can’t commit to or keep. For example, never say never about more layoffs or divesting pieces of the business. Underpromise and overdeliver.
- Reflect and respond. Take time on a regular basis to think about how a leader is performing on these three key components: 1) demonstrating competence; 2) keeping promises; and 3) being consistent, especially making sure the words and actions as seen by others match. If leaders feel they’ve been deficient in these areas, think about how you’re going to rectify the situation. Nobody’s perfect, especially when they’re juggling many commitments, people and deadlines. So if they drop a ball, just try to pick it up on the first bounce. People will generally cut some slack – if leaders show good intent, already have some credibility, and if need be, apologize. If they break their word, acknowledge it, try to repair the damage, and move on.
- Measure credibility. Leaders may think they’re acting credible all the time, but credibility depends on whether employees and other stakeholders perceive them to be credible. Include some questions in your regular employee surveys, pulse checks or focus groups. A more complete question set, using these and other questions, may be used to reliably measure leader development and to track the bottom-line impact of credibility in your company. For example, you can ask:• When my boss says he/she is going to do something, he/she will.
• My boss shows the same values he/she describes.
• My boss delivers on promises.
• My boss practices what he/she preaches. - Carefully show vulnerability. Help leaders be real for the times. Don’t let them act as if they know all the answers, rather they should show humility. Talk about how the challenges are being faced, not just what they’re doing, in light of their technical expertise. What indicators are they following? What signs are they tracking? What customers are they talking to? What’s being said? Bring the outside in. Provide context. Use everyday simple language. Find humor so you can share some laughs. Balance showing a leader’s professional competence with letting his or her personality come through.
Avoiding organizational situations that damage credibility
Communication professionals who advise leaders should also try to avoid or mitigate against these situations, which can create bad feelings and mistrust toward your organization. This in turn will hurt the personal credibility of you and your colleagues.
- Message/action mismatch. Make sure the organization’s marketing and formal communication messages don’t get ahead of the leaders’ informal and semi-formal messages. If these messages don’t reflect day-to-day reality – namely, what leaders are doing and saying informally – the organization’s trustworthiness will take a hit.
- Listen for trouble. Listen closely to any potential problems both inside and outside the organization and act quickly as needed. In this age of 24-hour media cycles, numerous social networking sites, and many watchdog organizations, a potential problem can turn into a full-blown crisis in a few hours. The organization that stays silent or acts in a bumbling manner is often assumed to be guilty. You need to have a crisis plan and respond in a manner that reflects the situation and a leader’s values. If you don’t, you’ll lose the respect and trust of your customers, employees, shareholders and other key stakeholders.
- Be alert to difficult managers. Deal with any awkward characters in the C-suite and other leadership levels quickly. Leaders who don’t play by the rules, live the values, or who are ineffectual on any number of levels raise red flags in the organization. Their attitude and behavior can cause a negative contagion that will spread throughout the organization. If you don’t contain or extricate them, employees may start to attribute these difficult characteristics to all leaders, not just those who are truely awkward. And instead of employee engagement, you’ll have disengagement.
Staying credible means being disciplined
Becoming credible won’t keep leaders credible. You need to help leaders be disciplined and work hard to protect their credibility. Credibility is job one when it comes to leadership – no leadership happens without it. Seen in this light, the discipline and hard work are worth it. Leaders will become more efficient and effective. Plus, they’ll be a stronger, more trusted leader ready to face the world’s next challenge.
Becoming credible won’t keep you credible.
Being clear about the aim of the communication – the 9 “I”s
Before you meet with a group of employees or plan a formal communication, be mindful about your communication.
For example, be clear about the intent of your communication. Are you primarily going to inform employees of a decision that’s been made or that’s under consideration? Is their input being sought? Is a leader interested in starting a dialogue?
Next, think about the tactics you want to use to ensure they match your intent and they will resonate with the group of individuals you’re trying to reach.
Before you match your intention with the most appropriate communication media, consider the 9 “I”s:
| Being clear about the aim of the communication – the 9 “I”s | |
| The LEAN communicator’s 9 “I”s | Actions to consider |
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Speeches, presentations, emails, newsletters, blogs, huddles, podcasts, videos, and related methods – primarily one-way communication. As much as possible you should include the WIIFM – the what’s in it for them – with the core of your message. |
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Interpretation can be included with the informing, yet ideally you’re also opening up the channels of communication to get input from employees to ensure that they understand the information and the interpretation; this can be in-person question and answer sessions, online chats or questions submitted via email or blogs. |
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In-person listening sessions with employees, focus groups, meeting debriefs, meeting feedback forms, pulse surveys, other surveys, and informal feedback. Ideally, try to gather unfiltered feedback as much as possible so you can get a true response and avoid misinterpretations of the responses. |
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On the job training such as teachable moments to more formal training. |
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Skip-level meetings, leader walkarounds, and informal “meet and greet”s to make a connection, especially in employees’ work areas. |
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Telling stories, talking in informal settings, and making changes by providing opportunities for meetings and conversations (formal and informal) with leaders. |
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Using symbols in speech, recognizing others who are living the organization’s values or who have taken commendable actions, and associating with inspirational, trusted individuals; also leading by example. |
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Including employees as active participants in a task force, rapid response team, or committees as a way to tap into their skills or knowledge, help with their development, build stronger relationships, solicit their buy-in, and bring more credibility to the activity in which they’re involved. |
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Clearly articulating the call to action: that is, explaining what you expect employees to do and what it means to them and the organization. Specify the timing, especially the deadline if you have set one. |
Tony Simons is the author of The Integrity Dividend: Leading by the Power of Your Word (Jossey Bass, 2008). He’s the president of Integrity Dividend LLC, and is a tenured associate professor of management and leadership at Cornell University. He speaks, trains, and consults on building and repairing credibility-based leadership and cultures. He has published over 28 articles in outlets ranging from Harvard Business Review to Academy of Management Journal and Journal of Applied Psychology. http://integritydividend.com.
Liz Guthridge is the founder of Connect Consulting Group LLC, a workforce and change management firm based in the US. She specializes in LEAN Communications principles and practices – using communications to work smarter not harder to improve results and build credibility. She’s the editor/publisher of the monthly eNewsletter, The LEAN Communicator and the author of the manual, LEAN Communications: The 5-Step LEAN Communications System for Doing More with Less and Getting Great Results. www.connectconsultinggroup.com and www.leancommunications.com
http://www.internalcommshub.com/open/managers/howto/guthridge.shtml
Led another firewalk yesterday…
…and it was amazing. Several participants had major breakthroughs, andthe rest merely felt massively empowered and energized. All participants walked the fire, no burns at all. I love doing this work. I love seeing people transform before my eyes. Here are a few of the most eloquent testamonials I got from last night’s participants:
“I broke through something so deep inside myself that I didn’t even know it was holding me back. In a safe, protected environment, strangers became friends and opened our hearts to each other. And then we walked through fire together. Yes! Yes! Yes!” — Marne O’Shae, physician
“To be given both perspective and self-confidence is a truly beautiful thing. Thank you Tony.” — Grant B., butcher
“Do not bring anything with you.
There is nothing to prepare for.
The journey takes you through yourself
No matter where you are
Each step toward the fire, is your next step in life.
Each step on the fire is the process of awakening.
Each step away from the fire
Is filled with gratitude.
Thank you.” — Ira Kamp, dentist/acupuncturist
“Tonight was unbelievably powerful. I conquered what was keeping me from all that I can be. I conquered myself. I am filled with power beyond measure. I can create and do anything. I am my own creator.” — Josh M., student
What fun to be able to share that with people! Keep spreading the word. I want my firewalks to be BIG. Next walk: August 20.
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