Integrity only SEEMS to start with “I”
In reality, it starts with “U” (you). What I mean is, you need to start with a deep and abiding appreciation for the point of view of the other.
Because behavioral integrity is about being seen as living by your word. That may sound like an invitation to scam, but it isn’t. Sooner or later, people figure it out when you are scamming them. Especially people who work for you, because they watch you like a hawk. A colleague, Rod Kramer, calls employees “intuitive auditors” of their bosses.
Yes, authenticity, or internal alignment, is a critical driver of integrity. And it is about you, in the sense that a good hard look in the mirror is a good idea as one seeks to earn the integrity dividend. But in some deep way, integrity is not about you. it is about respecting how your words and actions look from the perspective of the people to whom you relate.
Communication is not what is said, but rather what is heard. And as I have learned from a few hard knocks, bad communication and bad coordination look an awful lot like bad faith, and they can draw forth the same consequences.
I am not saying it is necessary to actually be benevolent, although I think that would be a good idea. It would enhance your trustworthiness, which would enhance others’ trust in you and thus your effectiveness. But I believe that integrity can exist absent caring about others’ well-being — as long as you make it clear that is where you stand. But you have to care about their perspective if you are to earn the integrity dividend. You have to choose your words and actions with awareness of how they seem.
Leaders of all stripes are often asked to avoid not merely impropriety, but also the appearance of impropriety. Conflict of interest is sometimes defined thus.
In fact, I would suggest that Integrity starts with both “I” and “U”: Self-knowledge and self-control are necessary for the actual living by your word. But a profound appreciation of the other’s perspective is needed to support your ability to craft your behavior and your communication so that others “get” that you are living by your word. Since those who you relate to are mostly not idiots, the genuine living by your word is crucial over time. But it is not enough. You have to help them see it. To do that, you have to be able to see through their eyes.
